Poetry Issue 5

   Issue#5: July - December 2005

Jose Perez Beduya

Notes to Self

      Better not to prefer
      the tangential,
      the spiral to these rigid
      lefts and rights;
      to believe there is
      no cycle greater than
      choice. The possibilities
      are never outside of
      your calculations.
      And progress is linear,
      discrete as a chain
      of causes locked and tinkling
      to effects. Yes,
      it feels good to feel
      how your hands delay
      the outcome they decide.
      You throw and catch
      your favorite weapon.
      Force that rests on will
      is power. So let
      the world wait
      for your answer.
      You foreclose
      one side of the future
      and know
      to peek and call it
      after the coin is tossed.
      Better to think
      that what you’ve struggled
      to surround yourself
      with is shelter.
      The rat couldn’t
      be happier—relentless
      mind in a maze
      it does not know
      it’s made of its finding
      a way out.